30 Main Lessons I Learned Before My Thirties

My 30th Birthday Celebration in San Francisco

Below are lessons I learned predominantly in my twenties. They are mistakes I made, and obstacles I overcame.  They are things that I am proud that I did.  Many of them, I wish I had done earlier on in life.  Many of them, I am still working on.

The first op-ed I ever published was "Advice for the Young Women of UC Berkeley." Similarly, I wrote this list below, and included links to other blog posts I've written on these topics. My sister is about ten years younger than me, and I dedicate this list to her and other young women and girls.  These are my wishes for them as they experience the highs and lows of your twenties.

1. Learn how to love yourself.
2. Your job title is not your identity.
3. Your romantic status is not your identity or happiness.
4. Take the Landmark Forum and complete the Curriculum for Living.  Learn how to be responsible for your words and actions, and moreover use this power to create new possibilities for your life.
5. Get a therapist.
6. Define what happiness and success means to you in terms of romance, sex, health, wealth, career, etc.
7. Fail, fail, fail, and then take the risk again.
8. Identify your personal and professional strengths and weaknesses.
9. Embrace being alone, and travel abroad alone.
10. Take on leadership opportunities and stretch assignments.  Volunteer and gain new skills.
11. Work with a coach. Develop relationships with mentors.
12. Give back to others, especially girls and other young women.
13. Identify your coping mechanisms, both good and bad. Develop regular habits for self-care.
14. Forgive yourself.
15. Identify your dreams and make progress towards them.
16. Go to Burning Man, or your personal form of it.
17. Solidify your spiritual practices, which probably means exploring new ones you weren't raised with.  Or, if you choose not to have a spiritual practice, firmly own that decision.
18. Apply to tons of jobs/graduate schools/programs/awards/etc. and develop resiliency to rejection and an appetite for risk.
19. Develop healthy exercise routines, and learn how to cook healthy.
20. Save enough money in case you lose your job, or have to move quickly.
21. Love, and at this age, it's totally okay to get your heart absolutely broken.  It's the best way to know you're alive.
22. Develop habits for personal organization such as a clean room and time management.
23. Have lists of what you want by the age of 30, but be flexible and kind enough to yourself if these all don't come true by then.
24. Live in different places.
25. Learn how to meditate.
26. Buy a one way international flight less than a week before departing for a solo trip.  Or, make a quick decision to finally make one of your dreams really come true with definitive action.
27. Constantly seek out professional development opportunities and training programs.
28. Develop a personal support community and a professional network.
29. Develop a personal brand and share your voice.
30. Carpe diem and enjoy your life! Your twenties are for learning, growing, being irresponsible, and making mistakes!