An Ode to My Mentor, Arnie Thomas

2012 Running Start Women to Watch Awards

My mentor, life coach, and dear friend Arnie Thomas recently passed.  I would like to share with you some of the invaluable lessons he taught me.  I can't begin to share all the wisdom I gained from him, but hopefully you can learn a thing or two.  He wrote regularly for Everyday Mentor, and I highly recommend you read his direct words there.

I hope someday you can find an amazing mentor like Arnie!  I pray that someday I can be an incredible mentor to someone else, the way he was to me.  Arnie touched the lives of many. 

If you so feel compelled, I am sure Arnie and his family would be most grateful if you considered making a donation of any amount in his honor to Running Start, the organization that we served together on the board of directors.  I'm so grateful to Running Start for bringing Arnie into my life.  Thank you very much for giving back to Arnie's dream of empowering women leaders!

What Arnie Taught Me

"What Can I Do to Be of Service to You in the Future?"

Arnie embodied Dale Carnegie's philosophy of putting yourself in someone else's shoes.  He taught me to always, without hope of personal gain, offer myself to help others.  When sending emails to others, he told me to end with the words, "Please always let me know how I can be of service to you in the future."  When interviewing for jobs, he encouraged me to ask the interviewer, "What is your biggest challenge?  How do you see me helping with that?"  Everyone has a challenge they are dealing with.  Try to figure out what that is and how you can assist them in that endeavor.  The best way to grow in your success and happiness is by helping others.  Together, we can make the world a better place. 

Be Vulnerable

One of my favorite Arnie lessons was when he encouraged me to listen to Brené Brown's Ted Talk about The Power of Vulnerability. Arnie taught me that to be vulnerable with others was a strength and not a weakness.

Be an Avid Reader

Arnie was a demanding coach!  Each week, he gave me a book to read that we would then discuss.  Reading is one of the best ways to stay on top of trends and reflect on your growth. 

Recognize Your Bad Habits & Cultivate New Habits

One of the best books Arnie made me read was The Power Of Habit - Why We Do What We Do in Life and Business by Charles Duhigg.  I now recognize my triggers for bad habits and how to create incentives to modify that behavior. 

Classy is a State of Mind

Arnie taught me that no matter where you come from in life, you have the choice to create new possibilities for yourself.  First and foremost you must respect yourself, and not settle to be treated any such less by others.  If others no long serve you in this way, you need to let them go.  You are not obligated to persist in unhealthy relationships.

How to Find a Mentor/Coach

Arnie and I met while serving together on the board of Running Start, a national nonprofit preparing young women for political leadership.  I really liked him the moment I met him, and always knew I wanted to get to know him better.  At the time we met, I worked for a women's leadership nonprofit, and we were starting a mentoring program.  I knew he was an expert on mentoring, so I asked him to coffee and he shared his advice with me.  I then invited him to a networking reception for our organization.  I continued to see him at board meetings, and always smiled when I saw him.  He exuded positive energy.

It wasn't until about a year after casually knowing him that we entered into a more formal mentoring relationship.  I had entered a period of significant personal and professional transition, and knew I needed help.  I was going through my mental Rolodex of my network to find support and Arnie came to my mind.  I asked him again to coffee to seek his wisdom on how to navigate this new hardship.  He suggested we work together formally and he offered to be my life coach.  For a period of about seven months, we met almost weekly in the halls of the Willard Hotel or at Bistro Bis. Arnie was always nothing but class!

I can't emphasize enough the value of making the personal investment of time and money to work with a life coach.  I have had many other mentors and am indebted to them, but engaging in a formal, regular mentoring relationship through coaching yields different results.  For all the money you spend on yourself on Starbucks, clothes, and manicures, a more long lasting investment would be working with a coach!  You can only take yourself so far in your personal development.  You need the help of another to teach you what you don't know that you don't know.

Arnie believed in me during a time when I did not believe in myself.  He taught me ways to be self-sufficient for my personal happiness and well being.  I couldn't be where I am today without his support.

In terms of choosing a coach, I recommend finding someone who shares your values, but also is distinctly different from you.  Like me, Arnie was a feminist, and also a Catholic.  However, I feel I highly benefited from working with a male coach.  I have always worked in female dominated workplaces, and the vast majority of my personal and professional network was female.  Having a trusted male perspective was extremely helpful!

So if there are people in your life you admire, respect, and want to get to know better, just ask them to grab a coffee.  It could lead to a life changing mentoring relationship!

Learn more from Arnie!  Check out the resources below:

What Makes a Good Leader? Vulnerability, Compassion? Meet Arnie Thomas, a Mentor Helping to Make a Difference

Everyday Mentor

The UN Recognizes the Power of Young Women and Girls!

Today in New York City, UN Women and the Secretary-General’s Envoy on Youth held an event “Young Women and Girls: Leaders of Today for a Better Tomorrow.”  Panelists included Ms. Lakshmi Puri, Deputy Executive Director of UN Women, H.E. Ms. Bénédicte Frankinet, Permanent Representative of Belgium, H.E. Mr. Masood Khan, Permanent Representative of Pakistan, Ms. Stacy Martinet, Chief Marketing Officer, Mashable, Ms. Chapa Pereira, Youth Delegate from Sri Lanka, and Ms. Ralien Bekkers, Youth Delegate from the Netherlands, and Mr. Ahmad Alhendawi, Secretary-General's Envoy on Youth.  You can watch a recording of the event or join the conversation on Twitter by following #FutureYW.  I am grateful that today UN entities honored the power of young women and girls!

Now is a special opportunity for young women and girls to share their voices in creating the international development agenda.  The world community is about to launch a global dialogue on the Post-2015 development agenda about what's next after the Millennium Development Goals.  Additionally, 2015 marks the anniversary of the Beijing Platform for Action, a turning point for the women's human rights movement.  Recently at an African Union Summit in January, young women and girls presented a statement about their vision for the future of Africa.  The UN is only beginning to witness the influence of young women and girls!

I was very happy to see that young women and girls from both developed and developing countries were given the chance to share their voice as panelists.  Ralien Bekkers, Dutch Youth Representative on Sustainable Development, stressed the importance of including girls' voices in the dialogue in real time.  Chapa Perera, UN Youth Delegate from Sri Lanka emphasized that the starting point for addressing the challenges of women and girls is for these girls to empower themselves.  These ladies were brilliant and inspiring!

Key takeaways from the discussion

• We need to change gender stereotypes and the portrayal of women and girls in the media.

• Men, boys, and girls' parents need to be involved and educated about the value of girls' empowerment.

• Young women and girls need to have access to technology to gain an education and share their voice.

• In addition to formal education, informal education programs need to be created to train young women and girls to achieve their leadership potential. (Elect Her and the Young Women's Political Leadership Program are my favorite examples of such trainings.)

• Governments need to prioritize young women and girls in terms of funding, policies, and laws.

• Violence against women and girls and limited reproductive rights continue to be barriers to the advancement of young women and girls.

• Through building their own confidence, young women and girls can be active agents of change.  They do not need to wait to be empowered by others.

Check out these opportunities to get involved

• Participate in the 2014 World Conference on Youth in Sri Lanka

• Join the global partnership for youth in the post-2015 development agenda

Young Women Gave Us the Right to Vote

Women's Suffrage Monument in the Rotunda 

Ninety-three years ago today, women in American finally won the right to vote.  On August 26, 1920, the Nineteenth Amendment to the United States Constitution became law and declared "The right of citizens of the United States to vote shall not be denied or abridged by the United States or by any state on account of sex."  To date, the Equal Rights Amendment has not passed, so the Nineteenth Amendment is the only Constitutional protection explicitly including the term "sex."

The fight for women's right to vote began in 1848 when Elizabeth Cady Stanton and Lucretia Mott organized the Seneca Falls Convention.  However, it took 72 years of activism to successfully achieve suffrage.  Young women such as Alice Paul and Lucy Burns carried the torch that Elizabeth Cady Stanton, Lucretia Mott, and Susan B. Anthony first lit.

Alice Paul and Lucy Burns were American students who met in London while protesting with the Pankhursts, Britain's suffrage movement.  They were inspired by the militant tactics of the Pankhursts which included mass public protesting.  Upon returning to the United States, they joined the National American Woman Suffrage Association (NAWSA).  NAWSA was using traditional lobbying methods to advocate for suffrage.  Alice and Lucy thought these strategies were ineffective, so split and formed the National Woman's Party (NWP).

If you pass by the White House today, seeing protestors in front of it is a common sight.  However, the first political organization in the United States to picket the White House was the NWP, founded by young Alice Paul.  The NWP still exists today and you can become a member!

The women picketing the White House used nonviolence, and stood for hours in the cold, well dressed, holding banners with political messages.  At first President Wilson tolerated them, but not once the nation moved into World War I. Alice, Lucy, and the young women leaders of the NWP decided to still picket even through the country was at war.  Not much later, the suffragists were arrested on the bogus grounds of obstructing traffic.

The women were sent to the Occoquan Workhouse where they were treated poorly as common criminals.  The prisoners, including Alice and Lucy, went on extended hunger strikes.  They were violently force fed, with tubes painfully shoved down their throats.  Once the public learned of this brutality, Wilson had no choice but to support suffrage.  While not entirely historically accurate, a recommended film to learn more about this is Iron Jawed Angels featuring Hillary Swank.  You can also visit the Sewall-Belmont House & Museum in DC or the Alice Paul Institute in New Jersey to learn more about Alice Paul.

Thanks to the sacrifice of young women activists such as Alice Paul and Lucy Burns, YOU can vote! Women in America have only been able to vote for less than 100 years, so use your right and vote in all elections, from municipal to presidential.  Women voters make or break candidates.  In every presidential election since 1980, a gender gap has been apparent.  In 2012, women voters favored the successful candidate Barack Obama ten percentage points over Mitt Romney.  Women in the United States are 51% of the population, 53% of voters, but hold less than 20% of elected offices in America.  Let's change those statistics.

Alice Paul was 35 years old when the Nineteenth Amendment passed.  Alice and Lucy are role models to show us you do not need to wait until you finish school or have decades of experience to start changing your country and the world.  The fight for women's equality is not complete.  What torch will our generation carry?  The movement begins today!

So You Want to Be an Adjunct Professor?

Last year, I had the great honor to become an adjunct professor at American University and Trinity Washington University.  This semester, I am excited to teach "Gender, Power, and Politics" at American University and "Women and Leadership" at Trinity Washington University.  So what exactly is an adjunct professor and how do you become one? 

From an undergraduate student's perspective, they generally don't know the difference between full time or adjunct faculty members.  Basically, an adjunct professor is a part-time professor who is not on the tenure track.  You don't necessarily have to have a PhD. You are hired to teach a certain class for one semester, and are not necessarily guaranteed future employment. You generally do not receive benefits and most adjuncts are paid less than $5,000 per class.  For all the hours you spend teaching, grading, planning, and doing office hours, this is a job you do for the love of it rather than for money.  However, the adjuncts at American University recently unionized, so I am excited to learn more about the potential professional development opportunities and pay increases I can receive.  As universities and colleges nationwide are experiencing budget cuts, more and more school are hiring adjuncts, so more teaching opportunities exist for your taking.

Know What You Want

As with anything in life, I strongly believe in the power of knowing what you want far in advance of it actually happening.  For many of life's great accomplishments, you must dream your dream for many years, and take baby steps along the way to build your path. For example, in graduate school, I always knew I eventually wanted to teach, and participated in my school's Preparing Future Faculty program.

Know the Right People

I knew that many Washington, DC schools had adjunct opportunities, but I just didn't know how to connect to them, and thought I had to wait until I was older with more experience. However, one day I randomly received an email from a friend who used to teach saying her school needed someone last minute.  I asked if you needed a PhD, or just a master's.  She said all you needed was a master's degree.  She recommended me, I quickly interviewed, my experience spoke for itself, and I was hired.

My other teaching opportunity randomly came through LinkedIn.  A professor I did not know invited me to speak to her class.  The students ranked me as their favorite guest speaker that semester.  The professor and I began a professional relationship, and she gave me free executive coaching.  When she was thinking about creating a new class, she invited me to apply to teach it.

All of my friends who are adjuncts all knew someone where they applied, and did not apply cold.  The chair of a department generally does the hiring, so they are the right people to know.  If you are not yet connected to an academic community, create those relationships now.  Go to events on campus.  Offer to be a guest speaker.  Meet with professors for informational interviews.  Introduce yourself to department chairs months before the semester starts and suggest classes you can teach.

Also know that many adjunct opportunities arise right before a semester starts.  Look through the schedule of classes.  If a class does not have a professor's name attached to it, they are probably still looking for someone to teach it.

Know Your Stuff

So in addition to knowing what you want and knowing the right people, to be an adjunct, you have to know your stuff!  You really need to be an expert in your field.  You generally have a have a relevant graduate degree.  I have an M.A. in Applied Women's Studies.  Prior teaching experience or working with students is valued.  Publications definitely help.  As academia begins to value scholar practitioners more and more, having significant professional experience and demonstrated leadership in your field is important.

Own your expertise! I became an adjunct professor when I was 28.  You don't have to wait until you have decades of work experience to become an adjunct professor.  While it is a demanding job, teaching is one of the most rewarding professions.  Higher education needs more committed people wanting to teach!

More information about adjunct professors

Follow the adventures of my friend Michael Rodriguez as he follows his passion to teach architecture in Guatemala- Arch Abroad

Adjunct Project 

Adjunct Nation

Adjunct Professor Online

Persistent Inequality on the 50th Anniversary of Equal Pay Act

Fifty years ago today, President Kennedy signed the Equal Pay Act into law.  In short, the Equal Pay Act prohibits sex-based wage discrimination between men and women in the same establishment who perform jobs that require substantially equal skill, effort and responsibility under similar working conditions. The Equal Pay Act of 1963 has never been updated, but some legislators have introduced the the Paycheck Fairness Act to strengthen the Equal Pay Act.

However, today, women still earn only 77 cents to a man's dollar.   Sadly, the gender wage gap has widened recently. The gender wage gap was wider in 2012 than in 2011. According to research from Catherine Hill at the American Association of University Women (AAUW), young women fresh out of college experience a 7 percent wage gap compared to their male peers at their first job.

What does this mean for me?

Basically,  unequal pay means you are not being fully compensated for the equal work you perform compared to your male peers.  You are not being paid what you deserve.  Over the course of your lifetime, this all adds up and can hinder your financial independence.   According to one estimate by AAUW, over the course of over the course of a 35 year career, an American woman with a college degree will make about $1.2 million less than a man with the same education.

Think about it, a lifetime of lower pay means women have less income to save for retirement and less income counted in a Social Security or pension benefit formula. When moms are now the sole or primary breadwinner in four out of 10 households with children, less money is earned for working families.  Imagine would you could do with all that extra money you worked so hard for and are fully entitled to?

What can I do? 

• Learn more about equal pay and discuss this information with your male and female friends
• Always ask for more during salary negotiations!  We will continually explore this topic in this blog, but read this advice about salary negotiation for recent female graduates. 
• Support passage of the Paycheck Fairness Act
• Share this sample petition with your local elected officials to encourage their support of equal pay