Ten Ways College Women Can "Lean In"

Tonight, I had the great privilege of speaking at the launch event of American University's new Lean In group! I shared with the students ten ways I felt they could "Lean In" as college students.  Regardless of your age, we can all reflect on how we can incorporate these ideas into our personal and professional goals.

1. Read the book Lean In

If you haven't read the book yet, you definitely should.  If you've read it, consider reading it again, or joining or starting a Lean In Circle.  You can also stay continually updated on the book's topics by signing up for the newsletters of organizations such as UChic, Levo League, Daily Muse, Bossed Up, or Learn Vest.  

2. Develop a self-care practice

I wish I started healthier habits earlier on in my life!  Figure out your personal definition of what wellness means to you, and create regular practices to live that definition.  Do you drink enough water? Do you eat healthy or know how to cook?  Do you exercise regularly?  How do you take care of your spiritual health?  Do you always use safe-sex practices? You can start to explore all this by visiting your campus wellness center.  Additionally, your campus probably offers free therapy sessions, so take advantage of this opportunity!  Read this for more ideas on self-care.

3. Go out into your city

Get off campus and visit your local community.  Do informational interviews with professionals working near your school.  Volunteer with a local organization.  For students in major cities, do a part-time internship during the semester.

4. Do an internship

You absolutely must do at least one internship during your college career! Ideally, you would do one per year.  I know this is difficult since many internships are unpaid.  However, in today's job market, a college degree, even with a 4.0 GPA, is not enough.  You need professional experiences to get hired after graduation.

5. Visit your career center

Please visit your career center at least once a semester.  Even if you feel you have maximized the center's resources, I guarantee you can always learn more.  Meet with an advisor.  Go to a career fair or recruiting event.  Your tuition is paying for this resource so definitely utilize it!

6. Run for student government

Approximately 42% of the women who currently serve in Congress got their start in student government.  I ran for student government and lost, but you can read here about how it changed my life forever.  I really want you to run for student government, but take this to mean I suggest you gain leadership experience.  Working as a Resident Assistant was one of my most transformational experiences (read my RA story here).  Start a club, or become an officer of a club.  Get promoted in your student job.  In addition to internships, future employers will want to see leadership experience.

7. Find a mentor

Mentoring is up, down, and all around!  A mentor is not just someone older than you. Connect with your peers.  If you are interested in a student group, talk to one of the officers.  Go to a professor's office hours just to discuss career paths.  Ask your internship supervisor to introduce you to a colleague.  Be proactive in finding mentors in your life.

8. FAIL!!!

Yes, I am actively encouraging you to fail.  In college, I sold feminist t-shirts online, but eventually the business failed.  I learned a lot from the experience.  Put yourself out there and take risks.  Even if you hate your internship, you will get a better sense of what you would love doing. 

9. Master self-validation

Become a self-confident person and fully responsible for your own fulfillment and happiness.  Don't be jealous and compare yourself to others, but celebrate other's accomplishments.  Don't depend on Facebook or Snapchat to feel good about yourself.  Don't depend on your partner to make you feel pretty.  Don't depend on your parents to tell you they are proud of you for overcoming challenges.  A way to start cultivating this attitude is to ask yourself daily, "What am I proud of from today?"  Consider answering this question everyday in a journal for a week.  

10. Give back

Sheryl Sandberg emphasizes how women need to support each other in order to make society better for everyone.  Be a mentor to a fellow student the year below you, or to a high school girl.  Donate to or volunteer with an organization.  Pray for others.  Practice gratitude.

BONUS POINTS (Unofficial #11)

Study Abroad

I wish I had studied abroad, so I really encourage you to do that.  If you can't, think of ways you can really stretch your comfort zone.  Learn a new language.  However you define it, somehow immerse yourself in a foreign or totally new environment.

So You Want to Join a Nonprofit Board?

Happy New Year! I hope you enjoyed the holiday season.  As I talked with girlfriends about their New Year's resolutions, many of them mentioned wanting to give back to their community, and I suggested these women join nonprofit boards.  The process of joining a nonprofit board can be very confusing, so I seek to clarify that here.  You are never too young to join a nonprofit board.  At this moment, you have valuable skills that many nonprofits desperately need.

So what is a nonprofit board?  

The board of directors of a nonprofit is basically the governing body of a nonprofit organization.  They provide the strategic oversight to ensure the long-term fulfillment of the organization's mission.  Unlike corporate boards, board members of a nonprofit are usually not compensated financially.  In fact, most often, nonprofit board members are expected to donate a certain amount annually, in the idea of "write" or "raise."  For example, an organization may ask you to personally "write" an annual donation, or "raise" that amount through your personal and professional networks.

The board members are ultimately financially and legally responsible for the organization.  In most organizations, they work with paid staff members to guide the organization through growth and transition.  But don't worry, nonprofits have Directors & Officers insurance (D&O) to protect individual members from financial or legal harm.  So when joining a board, ask about their D &O. 

As a board member, you are expected to support the organization in a number of ways.  You will be asked to attend regular board meetings, often on a quarterly basis.  You may join a specific board committee to contribute your skill set with the organization.  You may be asked to attend program events to support the organization, and possibly host events to recruit your network to get involved with the organization.  As mentioned above, fundraising is one of the most important requirements of a board member.  But don't be afraid, there are many different ways to raise money, and this is an invaluable professional skill transferable to all trades.

Why should I join a board?

The number one reason to join a nonprofit board is because you care about the cause the organization serves.  You want to give back.  Did you love running clubs in school?  Did you love volunteering and getting involved with your community?  Then your next step is to join a nonprofit board.

In addition to helping others, serving on a nonprofit board has tremendous professional benefits.  Look at the biographies for people you admire.  I bet you they probably have board service included in their bio.  Boards can also allow you to develop skills you may not be able to get in your day job.  You can explore new passions, expand your network, and gain transferable leadership experience.  As you progress in your career, I'm sure you will want to join the board of large, prestigious organizations.  To get there, you need to start now.

How do I join a board? 

As with many things in life, networking is key to joining a nonprofit board. I was 24 when I first joined a nonprofit board.  The year before I officially joined the board, I ran for a seat on the board of the Women's Information Network and lost the election.  I stayed involved with the organization, took on volunteer leadership roles, and won my election the next year.  Since that experience, I have served on many other boards, and I am proud to currently serve on the board of Running Start, a nonprofit dedicated to empowering young women to run for office.

For all of my board opportunities, I was previously involved with the organization.  I joined one organization as a volunteer grant writer, and three years later joined the board.   With another organization, I invited someone from the organization to be a guest speaker where I worked, and then they invited me to be a guest speaker for their organization.  Many organizations working with youth or young professionals are very willing to have younger people serve on their boards.  However, even larger organizations are seeking to recruit diverse talent, and are eager for young professionals to serve on their board.

So for some organizations, you need to run for a position, but for others, you need to be recommended by a current board member.  It helps to have donation history with the organization.  When you are a board candidate, they will check if you have been giving to the organization for some time.  So even if it's $20 annually or monthly, start donating now.

What organizations are you currently connected to?  What can be a next step for you to get more involved?  What organizations are you not currently connected to but would like to learn more about?  Sign up for their newsletter or attend one of their events.  Talk to your friends and colleagues who serve on boards for their advice.  Check out Board Net USA, which lists current board vacancies. 

You are qualified now to serve on a board.  Young people are very underrepresented on nonprofit boards, but we have so many skills and experiences to share.  As you start the New Year, make time for volunteering and giving back to your community!  

Additional resources to check out:

BoardSource

Volunteer Match

National Council of Nonprofits

Idealist

The Bridgespan Group

Must Read: I am Malala

My favorite book I've read this year has to be I am Malala. I highly recommend you read it! I couldn't put it down.

As an American, every day we hear about terrorism and the growing tension between our country and Pakistan. Malala's book does an excellent job at painting a detailed landscape of what it's like to live daily with the Taliban in your neighborhood. With so much misunderstanding in our culture about Islam, Malala a devout Muslim, defends her faith yet criticizes the complexities of how it's manifested in her world. American readers can gain a better understanding of Pakistan, Islam, and more importantly our nation's need to seriously evaluate our use of drones. 

As someone who clung to my books and always wanted to be at the top of my class, I deeply connected with Malala's story.  She just wanted to study and learn so she could best use her talents to help her society.  Every person on the planet has the right to develop themselves and apply their talents. Your gender or what country you were born in should not change that.  In the United States, our founders proudly declared this as "Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of Happiness."

I believe in Malala's vision of education for girls and boys everywhere. This is absolutely possible. It's not a disease in need of discovering a cure. It's a societal problem that the world has the capacity to solve.

We can all play our part in that solution. First, educate yourself and learn from Malala's story. Read her book. She co-founded an organization The Malala Fund so please follow them on Facebook and Twitter and consider making a donation. You can also support local girls in your community as a volunteer. 

Happy Holidays and thanks so much for reading this blog! Cheers to the power of young women and girls! 

Holiday Cards: The Perfect Networking Tool

Holiday cards are the perfect way to cultivate your network. What better way to reach out to someone for no particular reason but to say happy holidays! Sending a card to someone is a nice way to say, "Hey, I haven't forgotten you. Please don't forget me!" 

In addition to your normal card recipient list of family and friends, think of whom you are grateful for in your professional network. Who would you like to get to know better or possibly work with in the future? Did you meet someone once for coffee, but haven't reconnected in awhile? Send them a holiday card! 

You can buy nondenominational holiday cards from your local CVS or Duane Reade. In recent years, I have ordered customized cards from Vistaprint.com. The inside of the card has a short printed message, my name, email, and cell. I write each person's name in the card and a personalized message to them, just a sentence or two. I generally send about 100-150 cards. This takes a lot of work, but people definitely notice and appreciate it. As long as the card reaches them by the first week of the new year, I have succeeded! 

Happy Holiday card writing! Share the joy of the season with your networks!

So You Want to Write an Op-Ed?

     I recently had the exciting opportunity of publishing an op-ed in The Los Angles Times.  I am deeply grateful for the amazing collaboration with my co-author Shauna Shames.   I am also incredibly grateful to Linda Forman-Naval for her political astuteness and to the Scholars Strategy Network for being the premier place to bridge the gap between academic research and policy decision-making.

     I hope you are thinking of op-ed writing!   You have valuable opinions that deserve to be heard. More voices of people from diverse backgrounds need to share their ideas through op-ed writing.  According to the Op-Ed Project, men are 80-90% of contributors to key opinion forums; 84% of T.V. pundits on Sunday morning talk shows; and 87% of Wikipedia contributors.  More women's voices need to be in these spaces! 

     So how do you publish an op-ed?  My first suggestion is to get some formal training.  I am an alumna of the Op-Ed Project and Progressive Women’sVoices.  Both are training programs that empower women to find their voices and give them the technical skills to share their message.  I can’t emphasize enough how crucial these programs were for me to demystify the media pitching process, and to believe in the possibility of actually getting my voice heard.   If you are currently in school, see if you can take a writing class.  If you are a young professional, many professional membership organizations offer media training opportunities. 

Own Your Expertise

     You are an expert!  Believe it!  Own it! Each of us has our own story.  Due to our various life experiences, we see the world in a unique way.  We have different ways of understanding what is happening around us.  You are never too old or too young to write an op-ed.  Who better to comment on higher education debate than a college student? When you write your op-ed, make sure to proudly declare what makes you a credible thought leader on this topic. 

Find Your News Hook

     One of the most important aspects of what makes op-ed writing different than other forms of writing is timeliness.  A media outlet wants to publish op-eds that are relevant to what is currently happening in the news.  How do you connect your idea to what’s going on in the world at this specific moment?   I published my first op-ed earlier this year.  I felt very strongly about the article giving advice to young women in Princeton’s and Harvard’s campus newspapers.  I took the opportunity to write a similar article for the newspaper for my alma mater.  Similarly, Shauna and I used the hook of JFK’s anniversary.  Timeliness is key!

Try, Try, and Try Again

      I first took the Op-Ed Project training in 2011.  I have been pitching op-eds for about two years.  I have had many rejections, but I didn’t give up.  You need to just start writing, try pitching, and be resilient. 

     I am always eager for guest bloggers to contribute to Women on Top.  You can write about any topic of your choice, broadly related to the power of young women and girls.  Please email me oleary.pamela@gmail.com if you are interested in writing. 

     Happy writing!  Your voice is valuable and deserves to be heard! 

Elect Her!

Last week, I had the exciting opportunity to facilitate an Elect Her training at the University of Louisville.  Elect Her – Campus Women Win is the only program in the country that encourages and trains college women to run for student government and future political office.  Elect Her is a nonpartisan collaboration between the American Association of University Women (AAUW) and Running Start.

The earlier a candidate begins to run for office, the better are his or her chances of climbing the political ladder faster. Twelve of the last nineteen U.S. presidents started their political careers before age 35. When the path to achieve significant political influence and chair a committee is based on seniority, a candidate benefits from being elected when they are young. Additionally, over forty percent of the women who currently serve in Congress began their political careers by serving in student government in their youth. 

A recent study by Jennifer Lawless and Richard Fox showed that the gender gap in political ambition is evident in college students.  My personal experience concurs with their research. Ten years ago at UC Berkeley, I ran for External Affairs Vice President.  I had over 2,000 votes, but lost by 72.  I considered it the greatest failure of my young adult life.  Ultimately, I feel I lost because I didn't believe in myself.  I wish I had the opportunity to gain confidence through a program like Elect Her.  

Regardless, running for student government was one of the most transformative leadership experiences I have ever had. I expanded my comfort zone in ways I never thought were possible.  I gained valuable public speaking experience.  I learned how to network and present myself professionally.  I built relationships with people who are still my best friends ten years later.  Win or lose, running for student government is a leadership endeavor more young women need to pursue. 

 

2013 Elect Her by the Numbers

• 88 percent of the 2013 participants who ran for student government president WON! 
• 20 percent more students plan to run for student government and political office.  
• 100 percent of participants reported that they would recommend Elect Her to a friend.

Ten Years Ago Today I Realized My Vocation

 *The following may contain triggering language to survivors of violence*

As I get dressed up to go out and celebrate Halloween tonight, I sadly remember how after a night of similar festivities ten years ago changed my life forevermore....

Ten years ago, I awoke to my passion in life.  I realized my vocation was feminism.  For the past ten years, I have dedicated my career and personal mission to advancing the status of women in the world.  For the next decades of my life, I vow to continue to strive for those goals.

I was a sophomore and the fall of 2003 was my first semester being a resident assistant (RA).  On Saturday night, the all male dorm had a Halloween party. I was not officially on RA duty that night, but I went to celebrate.  I saw two of my female residents at the party and talked to them.  When I saw them again on Sunday morning, all of our lives changed.

I don't remember exactly how I was notified, but on Sunday morning, I was informed that two of my female residents were raped that following night.  I was close with these two women.  I knocked on their door, and walked into a dark room of heavy sadness.  The two rape survivors and a few of their close friends were sitting on the floor in silence.  The lights were off.  It felt as if someone had died and we had just come from a funeral. I sat down on the floor with them.  All I could do was just sit there and be with them.  Eventually, they shared their tragic details with me.

The women had been to the hospital, but one of them was still in pain.  Official RA policy restricted me from personally driving her in my car to the hospital.  But, I called up the RA chain and was given permission to go back to the hospital with them.  I waited for her in the emergency room.

I was in shock.  I was overwhelmed.  This was the first time in my life I was exposed to the violence women and girls disproportionately experience due to their sex.  How did this happen?  I knew one of the perpetrators.  He was in one of my classes, and I frequently had to see him after this case.  I don't think he knew I was involved with his situation.  He seemed like a good guy before this happened. I was shocked he was the rapist.

There was only so much I could do to help these two survivors.  The police were not helpful, and the women did not feel supported as they were interrogated.  How did I live in a world where such violence was a common reality?

Sadly, I soon found out that many of my other girlfriends and sorority sisters were also survivors of rape and sexual assault.  I felt deeply compelled to do something about this issue.  After this experience,  all of my volunteer and extracurricular activities were related to feminism.  I should have been a gender studies major, but ended up pursuing an M.A. in Applied Women's Studies at Claremont Graduate University.  The past seven years of my career have been working in the field of gender equality.

Earlier this week, I met up with a girlfriend in her early twenties who is trying to figure out her passion in life.  I shared this story with her.  For better or worst, through this experience, I clearly found my passion in life.  I am deeply grateful to these rape survivors and all the others who have shared their story with me.  I am so inspired by the incredible power survivors have to reclaim their lives and not give up. 

For those still searching for your passion in life, that's OK.  Be patient.  You never know where or when you will learn what it is.  I suggest volunteering or getting involved with different organizations and causes.  You need to learn what you hate to help figure out what you love.  Take new classes, and try to learn new skills.   Check out this previous blog post to find more resources for discovering your passion.

I can't help but end on an uplifting, perhaps cheesy note.  This video by Beyonce on World Humanitarian Day at the United Nations is one of the most inspiring videos I have ever seen.  I wish you all the best in finding and living your passion!

Resources for Rape and Sexual Assault

 Rape and Incest National Network

Bay Area Women Against Rape (the organization that provided resources to these survivors, and that I eventually volunteered with)

Break the Cycle

HollaBack 

V-Day 

National Network to End Domestic Violence